It’s been a long time since I’ve posted. But with Christmas time here I started thinking about family and other things and I had to get some thoughts jotted down.

This time of year is all about hope, forgiveness, and love. My amazing son is now 3.5 and I cannot believe how fast time is flying by! I have much to be thankful for! And everyday I try to remember how blessed I am. However, during this time of year I can’t help but also feel a little sad. Sad for the loved ones I’ve lost and miss dearly. I’m thinking especially of my father. He passed away 13 years ago. So, long before my son was born. My father and I had a complicated relationship. He and my mother divorced when I was just two years old. So, I don’t have the typical family memories. Holidays and birthdays were always split. Sometimes they were nice, sometimes they were hard. He usually saw me every other weekend. As much as my father loved me it was sometimes difficult for him to show it. He struggled a lot with his own demons while I was growing up. Then as I got older we certainly had our differences and didn’t agree on much. Whether it be politics, religion, music, makeup, you name it. We were just very different people.

When I was 19 he passed away from cancer. I do feel fortunate for the time I got with him at the end. I got to hear a lot of things I always longed for. I got to hear how much he loved me and that he was proud of me. Things that I will treasure forever. Things I know not everyone gets. So, again I am truly grateful. I just wish he had gotten to meet his grandson. I know that would have brought him so much joy. And I know that he would have made a terrific grandfather! And there’s so much he would’ve made up for by being a good grandfather.

So, while I know forgiveness can be a hard thing I urge you, if you have a kid(s) and they rarely or never get to see their grandparents, please try to set aside your differences if only just for the holiday season. Not only will it be a life changing gift for your child and parent, it will be one for you as well.

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